Testing.com ki hono Fakaʻaongaʻí

Te u fakatataaʻi ʻa e siakale ʻo e moʻui tauʻataina ke fili ʻaki ha talanoa: Ko e Talanoa Fakatātā ʻo e ʻUluʻi Totó.

Fakatataaʻi ha wideboy mei ha singi ʻEseki ʻe niʻihi – swagger mo e hairgel kotoa pe. Faka-Lelianiliani, ʻikai maʻu ʻa e talēniti kotoa pē, ko ha taʻetokanga ki he niʻihi kehe. Fiekaia ki he lavameʻá, ki he ngaahi ka ʻaukai mo feʻunga mo e fanga manupuna mo e gassy Siamane mo e nightclubs fakamanavahe. Naʻa ne mamata ki he tokotaha akoako mo e finks ʻoku ne ʻiloʻi wot pisinisi ʻoku abaat. ʻOku ne maʻu ha suti ngingila pea practises hono mata fakamatoato ʻi he sioʻata he ʻaho kotoa pe. Ko hono hingoá ko Sipenisā pe Kai, Netane pe Fakaʻofoʻofa, ka te u ui ia ko Shithead.

ʻOku talaange ʻe he kaungameʻa ʻo kiate ia fekauʻaki mo ha ngaue ʻi hono ʻofisi. "ʻOku hange pe ia ko e telesales kuo ke fai talu mei he ako. ʻOku ke ʻai pe ʻa e komipiuta ko ʻeni ke toʻo ha ngaue ʻoku ʻikai ke nau fie maʻu. ʻOku veve ʻa e totongi pea ko e pule ko ha bastard pea te ke sacked kapau te ke liʻaki ʻa e ngaahi taketi, ka ʻoku ke faʻu ha peketi fekauʻaki mo e tufakanga". ʻOku taʻeoliʻia ʻa Shithead ʻi he kakai ʻoku nau ui momoko fekauʻaki mo e sation pea ʻoku ʻuhinga ʻa e laʻake ko ʻeni te ne lava ʻo tuʻu hake ʻamui ange, ko ia ʻoku ne toʻo ʻa e ngaue.

Ko ʻemau ngaahi foʻi maka protagonist ʻi hono ʻuluaki ʻaho ʻi he 24-7-Synergistic-ʻInitaneti-Resourcing-fakavahaʻapuleʻanga Ltd. Ko ha ʻofisi ngaue tokoni ia ʻi Readingstoke, plasticky mo e naff kotoa, fonu berks hange ko ia ʻoku ʻikai ke ne ʻilo ha meʻa fekauʻaki mo ia. Ko hono puleʻi ʻo e pununga hone ko ʻeni ʻo e villany ko e tokotaha ia ʻoku ʻaʻana ʻa e kautaha, Misa Bastard. ʻOku fanafana ʻa e "Bastard motuʻa ki he ngaahi fakaʻaliʻali kotoa pe" ki he tangata ʻi he tesi hoko, "ako meiate ia pea te ke faʻu ha peketi". ʻOku nau foaki Shithead ha veve PC, ko ha telefoni, ko ha fakamatala ʻi he LinkedIn mo ha fakamatala fakakomipiuta ʻo ha kau palofesinale naʻa nau scraped mei ha feituʻu ngaue ʻi he uike kuo ʻosi. Hili ha ngaahi houa siʻi mei he ako naʻa ne ʻoange ʻa e spec ki ha ngaue fakalilifu kuo nau feinga ke fakafonu ʻi ha ngaahi uike mo tuʻutuʻuni ke uki hono kiʻi loto. ʻOku nau talaange, "ʻikai ha malohi", "ka ʻoku ke sacked kapau he ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo maʻu ha taha".

Ko e ngaahi lea fakaoli kotoa ko ia ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga ia ki shithead ka ʻoku ne faʻahinga ha niʻihi tokosiʻi ki heʻene faile fakakomipiuta. ʻOku ne ʻilo ʻoku ʻi ai ha ngaahi kavenga ʻoku tatau ange kapau te ne mavahe mei he puha "feituʻu" ʻoku ʻikai fakafonu. ʻOku spits ai ha lisi ʻo e kau mataotao kotoa pe ʻi he ngaahi tekinolosia hange ko e "L-U-N-I-X", "Dogger" mo e "Curriculum Vitae". ʻI hono fakaʻaongaʻi ha ngaahi lea recruiter fakaʻofoʻofa naʻe akoʻi ange ʻe he niʻihi kehe, naʻa ne fokotuʻutuʻu ha ʻimeili. "L@@K! L.U.N.I.X Ninja Dogger rockstar fie maʻu ki he ngaue hikifonua lanumata ʻi Lonitoni. Fie maʻu ha fakaikiiki!!!".

ʻOku ne omits ke talaatu ko e fatongia ʻoku maile ʻe teau mavahe mei Lonitoni. ʻI he feituʻu ko ʻeni. ʻI ha vakauku vela ʻoku fonu ʻi he ʻIpola mo ravenous tigers. "ʻOua naʻa ke loto ke fakalotosiʻiʻi ha taha" Shithead fakakaukau.

ʻI he lomiʻi ha foʻi fakamaʻu, ʻokú ne ʻave ia ki ha tahaafe ʻoku faitatau.

Hili ha haafe houa kuo ʻikai tali mai ʻe ha taha. Kovi Ange, ʻoku ʻi ai ha popoaki tata mei ha niʻihi arsehole ʻo pehe kuo taʻofi ia. ʻOku ne feinga ke fakafekiki mo e popoaki tata, fakamanamana ke lipooti ia ki he kau polisi ʻi he ʻInitaneti ke fakangatangata ʻene tauʻataina ke fakahaaʻi. "ʻOku tau nuffink hala" Shithead mutters.

Loto mamahi ʻi he ʻikai houngaʻia ha taha ʻi heʻene ʻimeili fakaʻofoʻofa ʻoku ne toʻo ʻa e feituʻu fekumi kotoa pe, fili kotoa 50,000 ʻo e kau palofesinale ʻi he faile fakakomipiuta pea lomiʻi ʻi he "toe ʻave".

ʻOku kamata ke trickle ʻa e ngaahi tali ʻi. ʻOku tafuluʻi ʻe he "mole koe berk" ʻa e kau mataotao, "tuku hono maumauʻi hoku taimí". Ka kuo akoʻi ʻa Shithead ki he meʻa ni pea naʻa ne pastes ʻi ha ngaahi tali faʻo kapa. "He ʻikai nai ke ke fefonongaʻaki ki ha faingamālie maʻongoʻonga pehē?" naʻá ne wheedles. "Naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻilo ʻoku totonu ʻeku ngāué kapau naʻe ʻikai ke u talaatu ʻa e ngaahi faingamālie maʻongoʻonga kotoa ko ʻení". "ʻIo ʻoku ou ʻilo naʻa ke pehe ʻoku ʻikai ke ke tokanga ki ai ka ʻoku ʻikai ke tcher fie ʻilo ki he totongi ʻa ʻetau £50?"

ʻOku ʻave ʻe ha kakai ʻe toko ua ʻa e CV ka ʻoku ʻikai tatau ʻenau acronyms mo e lisi ʻi he spec koeʻuhi ke ne kapa kinautolu. "Pataka timewasters" naʻa ne mutters, "ʻOku mau kumi ha mataotao Ninja rockstar ʻi L.U.N.I.X, ʻikai ko e veve Ubuntu ko ʻeni". ʻI he taimi ʻoku momoa ai ʻa e ngaahi polokalama, ʻoku kamata leva ke ne telefoni ki he kakai mei he faile fakakomipiuta. "ʻOku ʻikai ko ha meʻa ia ke fai ʻaki ʻeku skillset" ʻoku kei lea ʻaki pe ʻe he kakai. "Kuo tuʻo nima ʻeku talaatu ʻoku ʻikai ke u kumi ha aleapau". Naʻa ne harangues pe kinautolu kae ʻoua kuo nau tuku hifo ʻa e telefoni pe ʻAna ʻo meili kiate ia ha CV.

Naʻe faifai pe pea malohi ha laumalie masiva ʻi he vaʻinga acronym pingikou. Naʻa ne pastes ʻenau CV ki he sipinga ʻa e kautaha, ʻo maumauʻi ʻa e fotunga mo e fakapuliki honau tuʻunga hange ko hono akoʻi ia ʻe Misa Bastard. ʻOku fakamanatu ange ʻe Bastard kiate ia, "ʻoua te ke loto ke nau arseholes ʻalu ki mui".

Hili ha ʻaho ʻe hongofulu mei ai, naʻe kole ʻe he client ke fai ha ʻinitaviu. Meʻapango ne maʻu ʻe he tokotaha kolé ha ngāue ʻi ha feituʻu kehe. ʻOku talaange ʻe Misa Bastard kiate ia, "ʻoua te ke hohaʻa ki ai", "fili noa pē ha taha pea fekauʻi atu kinautolu". ʻOku fakangaueʻi ʻa e tamasiʻi pea shithead maʻu ha kiʻi tufakanga siʻisiʻi. Kuo ne taaʻi ʻene taumuʻa pea he ʻikai tuli ia he mahina ni. Naʻa ne chuckles hifo he telefoni, "ʻOku ou tui te ke saiʻia ai", laukau ʻaki ʻene poto.

ʻOku ui ʻe Misa Bastard ʻa Shithead ki hono ʻofisi. "Malo e talavou shithead, kuo mau feinga ke fakafonu e ngaue ko ia ʻi ha ngaahi uike. Naʻe anga fēfē hoʻo fai iá?". Shithead fakakaukau ki he kakai ʻe lauiafe naʻa ne spammed. "ʻIo, ʻe, ʻOku ou lelei moʻoni ʻi ha ʻa e taleniti". ʻOku poupouʻi ia ʻe Misa Bastard ki he timi aleapau. ʻOku fakamatalaʻi ʻe he Bastard motuʻa, "ko e feituʻu ia ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e paʻanga moʻoni", "ʻoku faʻu ʻe he kau ngāue aleapaú ha pēketi. Ko e meʻa lelei taha ko e ʻikai ke tau toe fai ha ngaue hili ʻetau maʻu kinautolu ka kuo pau ke totongi kitautolu ʻe he kau kasitomaa dumbfuck ko ia 15% ʻo e vave fakaʻahó ʻo taʻengata!"

Hili ha mahina ʻe ono mei ai, kuo ako ʻe Shithead ʻa e meʻa kotoa pe fekauʻaki mo e lesisita. ʻOku ne "tuku" ha kau ngaue aleapau tokolahi mo 247SCRI Ltd (naʻa nau toe fakaʻilongaʻi ʻa e pisinisi ko ia mo e tangata kuo pekia mo e tigers) ʻoku tafi ʻi ha ʻaho lahi ʻe ua mei he ngaahi fua ʻo ʻene ngaue. ʻOku ne totongi ha BMW pea ne laku takai ʻene paʻanga ʻi taʻe laine. Kuo ne ako e founga ke swindle ai e kau kasitomaa, ke utu ʻa e CV ʻaki ha ngaahi ngaue loi tuʻuaki, ke puleʻi e niʻihi ʻoku tohi kolé, ke fakangalingali ʻoku ne "fakafofongaʻi" ha taha kuo teʻeki ai ke ne fanongo ʻiate ia mo e founga ke fakalongolongo ai hono fakaangaʻi ʻene ngaahi founga dubious ʻaki ʻene fakapapauʻi, ʻikai fakaʻofoʻofa, "ʻoku ʻikai ha palopalema ia ʻa ha taha kehe wiv ia".

Kuo ne toe ako foki mo e founga ke tekaʻi ai ha niʻihi ʻo hono tufakanga ki ha foʻi tiupi pea mo ia, huva ki he toenga hono ihu. Ko ia ai naʻe fakamalohia shithead moʻui ʻi he ʻiloʻilo pau ko e meʻaʻofa ia ʻa e ʻOtua ki he ngaue. ʻOku ne talaange ki he kakai ʻoku nau maʻu fraudulently ʻo fakaʻaongaʻi ʻenau CV, "naʻa ku doinʻ koe ko ha ʻofeina", "pea ʻuma ki hoku tuʻunga koeʻuhi he ʻikai ke ke teitei maʻu ha ngaue ʻi he kolo ni wivvout hoku ʻ elp".

Ka ʻoku ʻikai ko ha Moloni kakato ʻa Shithead. Naʻa ne maʻu ha koloa maʻa e 247SCRI mo e Bastard motuʻa ʻoku ne tauhi ʻa e konga lahi ʻo ia maʻana. ʻOku ne fikaʻi ʻa e meʻa kuo pau ke fai ʻe he tamasiʻi. "Kolinitō!" ʻOku fakakaukau ʻa Shithead, "Te u lava ʻo fai ia. Ko e totongi nufink ke kamata pea kapau te u inu ko e arseholes ia ʻoku mole."

Hili ha ngaahi houa siʻi mei ai kuo nicked ʻe Shithead ʻa e faile fakakomipiuta, lesisita haʻane kautaha foʻou ("Shithead-E-Uepi-ʻInitaneti-ngaahi founga fakaleleiʻi ʻo e taleniti") pea maʻu ha kau fokotuʻutuʻu offshore uepi ke langa hake ia ʻi ha uepisaiti. ʻOku ne talaange kiate kinautolu, "ʻai ke ha fakaʻofisiale moʻoni", ko ia ʻoku nau fakafonu ia ʻaki ha ngaahi ta ʻo e kolo tapaʻi langi mo e kakai ʻoku nau sio fakamatoato ki he ngaueʻanga.

ʻI he pongipongi Monite Shithead ʻoku ngaue hono hala ʻi he lisi ʻo e client kaihaʻasi. ʻOku ne ʻafioʻi ʻa e meʻa naʻe tukuakiʻi ʻe heʻene tauʻataina ke fili motuʻa ʻoku faingofua hono tukuakiʻi kinautolu. Naʻa ne toe ui foki mo e kau pule ʻo e kau tohi kole kimuʻa ke fekumi ki ha ngaue te ne lava ʻo tuʻuaki, maumauʻi ha ngaahi ngaue maʻuʻanga moʻui ʻe niʻihi ʻi he ngaue. ʻOku ne fakakaukau, "Ha", "ngāue lahi ange ke u fakafonu".

Hili ha mahina ʻe ono mei ai, ʻoku booming ʻa e pisinisi mo e ongoʻi laukau ʻaki ʻe ia. Naʻa ne swaps ʻa e BMW ki ha Aston Matini, totongi ha tokotaha Tauhitohi dodgy ke haka ʻa e ngaahi tohi pea fakafonu ha ʻofisi ngaue tokoni ʻoku siʻisiʻi hono shitheads. ʻOku nau ako mei ha palofesinale pea vave taha hono fakapuna ʻe he avaricious ʻa e pununga ki he ngaahi kautaha ʻanautolu pe. Matala ha ngaahi kautaha foʻou ʻe miliona.

Ke Fakangata ʻe he ʻOfa ʻa e ʻOtuá ʻa e Fakamālohisitó ni

ʻOku totolo ʻa e ngaahi ngaue fakatekinikale ʻa e UK ʻaki ʻa e siemu hange ko Shithead. ʻOku mau kumi ʻuhinga ki heʻenau behaviour fakalilifu ʻaki fancying ko ha miscreants pe ia; kuo pau ke fakaoli ke maʻa ʻa e ngaahi meʻa kuo teʻeki ai ke mau maʻu. ʻI he taimi naʻe shitlist ai ʻeku domains ʻe teau naʻa ku haʻu ke realise ko e lesisita fakatekinikale ko ha ngaue pala kakato ia. Ko ha matangi malohi ia ʻo e ngaahi fakaʻaiʻai paongataʻa, ʻa vahevahe maʻulalo ki he huʻanga mo e fanga kiʻi malaʻe siʻisiʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ha paʻanga feʻunga sloshing ke tohoakiʻi mai ʻaki ha mahaki fakaʻauha ʻo unscrupulous kau tangata Lotoloto.

ʻOku ou fou atu ʻi he ngaahi kautaha lesisita. 90% ʻo ʻeku ngāué (mo 100% ʻo e ngāue naʻá ku saiʻia aí) ʻoku fakafou mai ʻi he lea ngutu ka naʻe meimei mole kotoa hoku ivi kumi ngaue ʻi he ngaahi berks ko ʻeni. Tuku kehe kapau te ke fiekaia (pe fiefia ʻi hono loi mo kakaaʻi) ʻoku ʻikai ke nau mahuʻinga ki he maaka ʻoku ʻikai hano ngataʻanga aggrevation.

ʻOku hangatonu ʻenau ngaahi ʻimeili loi ʻeho ʻi he veve. Ko e toenga ko e pro-matolu, ʻoku ʻi ai ha ngaahi meʻa pau ʻi honau masani ʻoku ʻikai fakaʻaongaʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi fakahinohinó.

Ki he niʻihi ʻoku nau fakangāueʻí – kole ki hoʻo kau ngāué ke nau tokoni ʻi hono kumi ha niʻihi ʻoku totongi foʻoú. ʻOatu ha meʻa lahi – feʻunga ke maʻu ʻenau tokangá, lea ʻaki ha vahenga ʻo e po ko ia. ʻOku siʻisiʻi ange ia ʻi shithead totongi. Pea ʻoku lelei kotoa ʻenau ngaahi fakaʻaiʻai: he ʻikai totongi ʻe ha taha ha vale kapau kuo pau ke nau ngaue fakataha mo kinautolu mo e kau ngaue foʻou ʻoku ʻi ai ʻenau ngaahi fetuʻutaki fakasosiale ki hoʻo timi ʻoku ngalingali te nau nofo. Te ke ofo ʻi he ola lelei ʻe lava ke hoko ʻeni.

Ki hoku kaungā ngāué – ʻoua naʻá ke tō ki he fakakaukau ko ia ko e kau kumi ngāué ko ha kovi ia ʻoku fie maʻu. Taʻofi ʻenau ʻimeili. Poloka ʻenau ngaahi uiuiʻí. Fetuʻutaki maʻu pe mo e kaunga ngaue motuʻa. Ako ke ngāue ki he netiueká. Kau ki he ngaahi kulupú, boardsand mailing lists for your field pea manatuʻi ke fokotuʻu kinautolu ʻi he taimi ʻoku ke feinga ai ke totongi. Ko e taimi kotoa pe ʻoku ke fakafonu ai ha ngaue ʻi hoʻo kulupu fengaueʻaki fakasosiale ʻoku fiekaia ha recruiter. Manatuʻi, ko e lahi ange ʻo e paʻanga ʻoku ke fakahu mei he ʻatakai ʻo e lesisita ko e siʻisiʻi ange ia shitheads te ne lava ʻo poupouʻi.

Kapau kuo pau ke ke fehangahangai mo e kau fakafofonga, fehuʻia e meʻa kotoa pē ʻoku nau lea ʻakí. Neongo ʻenau ngali lelei ke manatuʻi ʻoku ʻikai incentivised ke ngaue faitotonu. ʻOku ʻikai ko ho kaungāmeʻa kinautolu. Maʻu ha ngaahi talaʻofa (mo e fakamatalaʻi ʻo e ngāué) ʻi he tohí. Vakaiʻi fakahangatonu mo e kau kasitomaa pe ʻoku fakafofongaʻi kinautolu ʻe he fakafofonga. Kimuʻa pea ke fakamoʻoni hingoa ʻi ha faʻahinga meʻa pe ʻoku fakafehoanaki mo e client ke ʻiloʻi pe ko e ha e vave moʻoni ʻo e fakafofonga; te na faʻa loi maʻu pe kiate koe ke ke fakatou fakaʻofoʻofa ha tuʻusi lahi ange. ʻI he taimi ʻoku ke maʻu ai ha toʻonga kaka publicise ia koeʻuhi ke tokanga ʻa e niʻihi kehe. Ala atu ʻo tokoni ki he tokotaha ʻoku ne fai e kautaha (tokoni fakapalofesinale: ʻalu hangatonu ki he HR) ke talaange e meʻa ʻoku hokó. ʻOku ngalingali te nau ohovale ʻi he founga kuo fakafofongaʻi ʻaki kinautolu. ʻAi ke lau ʻe ha mataotao hoʻo aleapau (ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kau kumi ʻoku clueless fekauʻaki mo e lao ʻo e aleapau) pea fehuʻia ʻa e foʻi lea mamafa kotoa pē. Mavahe mei ai kapau te nau kumi ʻuhinga ʻi he ʻikai fai ha alea. Kapau ko ha tokotaha ngaue aleapau koe pea ʻi he momeniti fakaʻosi ʻoku nau fie maʻu ke sio ki hoʻo ID (paasipooti, laiseni fakaʻuli) fakafisi; ʻoku ʻikai haʻanau totonu ki ai.

Kae mahuʻinga tahá – maʻu ha huʻituʻa. ʻI he taimi ʻoku feinga ai ha sleazebag ʻe niʻihi ke ʻoua naʻa ke tuku ke heheke. ʻOua naʻa tuku ha swarm ʻo e kau tangata rapacious Lotoloto ke nau tupu koloaʻia ʻaki hono maumauʻi ʻetau ngaahi ngaue.

ʻOua ʻe fafanga ʻa e manu.

<credit ki he tatau totonu (mole) tokotaha naʻá ne faʻu e meʻ>