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Ndizakubonisa umjikelo wobomi bearhente yokuqesha ngebali: Umzekeliso weShithead.

Yiba nomfanekiso we-wideboy evela kwi-Essex sink estate-zonke i-swagger kunye ne-hairgel. I-Reptilian, ongenazo zonke iitalente, ukungakhathalelwa kwentlalo-ntle yabanye. Ukulambela impumelelo, iimoto ezikhawulezayo kunye neentaka ezifanelekileyo kunye ne-gassy lager kunye neeklabhu zasebusuku ezimbi. Uye wabukela uMfundi kwaye ucinga ukuba uyazi ukuba ishishini liphelile. Unesuti ekhazimlayo kwaye uziqhelanisa nobuso bakhe obundithatha nzulu esipilini yonke imihla. Igama lakhe inokuba nguSpencer okanye uKai, uNathan okanye uChardonnay, kodwa ndiza kumbiza ngokuba nguShithead.

Umhlobo kaShithead umxelela ngomsebenzi eofisini yakhe. “Kufana nje neetelesales obuzenza ukusukela esikolweni. Wenza nje ezi tosser zekhompyuter zithathe imisebenzi ezingayifuniyo. Umvuzo yinkcuba-buchopho kwaye umphathi usisibhanxa kwaye uya kugxothwa ukuba uyaphoswa koko kujoliswe kuko, kodwa wenza ipakethi ngekhomishini”. UShithead ukruqukile ngabantu ababandayo malunga ne-com-en-sation kwaye le lark yokugaya ithetha ukuba angavuka kamva., ngoko uyawuthatha umsebenzi.

Umdlali wethu oyintloko ujonge usuku lwakhe lokuqala kwi-24-7-Synergistic-Cyber-Resourcing-International Ltd.. Yiofisi enenkonzo eReadingstoke, yonke iplastiki kunye ne-naff, egcwele i-berks njengaye ongazi nto nge-IT. Owongamele le ndlu yamanyala ngumnini wenkampani, UMnu Bastard. “Umrhaji omdala uyawazi onke amaqhinga” wasebeza umfana kwidesika elandelayo, "funda kuye kwaye uya kwenza ipakethi". Banika uShithead iPC ekhohlakeleyo, ifowuni, i-akhawunti ekwi-LinkedIn kunye nedathabheyisi yeengcali ze-IT abayikhuphileyo indawo yomsebenzi kwiveki ephelileyo. Emva koqeqesho lweeyure ezimbalwa uye wanikezela ngomsebenzi ombi abazama ukuwugcwalisa iiveki kwaye wayalela ukuba afune intliziyo yakhe encinci.. “Akukho xinzelelo” bamxelela, "kodwa uyagxothwa ukuba awumfumani umntu".

Onke loo mazwi ahlekisayo e-IT awathethi nto kuShithead kodwa uchwetheza ezimbalwa kwiziko lakhe ledatha. Ufumanisa ukuba kukho imithwalo engakumbi yeematshisi ukuba ushiya ibhokisi "yendawo" ingenanto. Ikhuphela uluhlu lwazo zonke iingcaphephe kwitekhnoloji efana ne "L-U-N-I-X", "Inja" kunye ne "Curriculum Vitae". Esebenzisa amazwi amnandi abanye bamfundisa, ubhala i-imeyile. “L@@K! L.U.N.I.X ninja Dogger rockstar efunekayo kwiprojekthi yokufudukela kwindawo eluhlaza eLondon. Biza iinkcukacha!!!”.

Ushiya ukukhankanya ukuba indima ilikhulu leekhilomitha ngaphandle kweLondon. Emazantsi olwandle. Kwinkwili evuthayo egcwele i-ebola kunye namahlosi aqwengayo. "Ungafuni kudimaza nabani na" uShithead ucinga.

Ngokucofa iqhosha ulithumela kwimidlalo eliwaka.

Emva kwesiqingatha seyure akukho mntu uphendulileyo. Kubi, kukho umyalezo ophuma kumngxuma othile othi uvaliwe. Uzama ukuphikisana nomyalezo ogqabhuzayo, egrogrisa ngokuyixela kumaPolisa e-Intanethi ngokucutha iNkululeko yakhe yokuZichaza. “Senza i-nuffink engalunganga” umbombozela watsho uShithead.

Uphoxekile kukuba akukho mntu uxabisa i-imeyile yakhe entle ucoca yonke indawo yokukhangela, ukhetha zonke 50,000 yeengcali ze-IT kwisiseko sedatha kwaye ucofe "thumela" kwakhona.

Iimpendulo ziqala ukungena ngaphakathi. "Lahleka wena berk" bakhalimela iingcali ze-IT, "Yeka ukuchitha ixesha lam". Kodwa uShithead uqeqeshelwe oku kwaye uncamathisela kwezinye iimpendulo ezinkonkxiweyo. “Awungekhe uhambe ngethuba elihle kangaka?” uyatswina. "Ngendingawenzi kakuhle umsebenzi wam ukuba andikuxelelanga ngawo onke la mathuba amahle". "Ewe ndiyazi ukuba ubuthe awunamdla kodwa awufuni ukwazi malunga nomrhumo wethu oyi-£50.?”

Abantu abambalwa bathumela ii-CV's kodwa ii-acronyms zabo azihambelani noluhlu olukwi-specpec ngoko ke uyazibophelela.. “Ezimosha ixesha” umbombozela, “Sikhangela ingcaphephe yesizinda se-ninja rockstar e-L.U.N.I.X, hayi obu bubhanxa bukaBuntu”. Xa izicelo zomile uqala ukufowunela abantu kwi-database. “Ayinanto yakwenza nesakhono sam” abantu baqhubeka besithi. “Ndinixelele kahlanu ukuba andikhangeli sivumelwano”. Uba harangues phofu bade babeke iphone phantsi okanye barhoxe bamthumelele iCV.

Ekugqibeleni umphefumlo othile ohluphekileyo uphumelela umdlalo webhingo we-acronym. Uncamathisela iCV zabo kwi company template, ukonakalisa ukufomatha kunye nokufihla ubuni babo kanye njengokuba uMnumzana Bastard wamfundisayo. “Ungabafuni ukuba babe nemingxunya esemva kwethu” uBastard uyamkhumbuza.

Emva kweentsuku ezilishumi umxhasi ucela udliwano-ndlebe. Ngelishwa umfaki-sicelo ufumene umsebenzi kwenye indawo. “Ungakhathazeki” uMnumzana Bastard uyamxelela, "Khetha enye ngokungalindelekanga kwaye uyithumele". Umfana uqeshwe kwaye uShithead ufumana ikhomishini encinci. Ubethile ekujoliswe kuko kwaye akayi kugxothwa kule nyanga. "I'm sure you will love it there" wahleka phantsi ifowuni, uyazingca ngendlela akrelekrele ngayo.

UMnumzana Bastard ubizela uShithead eofisini yakhe. “Wenze kakuhle uShithead oselula, kudala sizama ukugcwalisa loo msebenzi iiveki. Wenze njani?”. UShithead ucinga ngamawakawaka abantu awabakhuphela kwi-spamme. “Ewe, kakuhle, Ndilungile ngokwenene ekuthandeni italente ". UMnu Bastard uyamnyusela kwiqela lekhontrakthi. "Kulapho imali yokwenyani ikhoyo" icacisa iOld Bastard, “abo bakontraka benza ipakethi. Eyona nto ingcono asisenzi omnye umsebenzi emva kokuba sibafumene kodwa abo bathengi bangenangqondo kufuneka basihlawule 15% yexabiso lemihla ngemihla ngonaphakade!”

Kwiinyanga ezintandathu kamva uShithead uye wafunda yonke into malunga nokuqashwa kwe-IT. "Ubeke" inqwaba yeekontraka kunye ne-247SCRI Ltd (baphinda batshintsha emva kwelo shishini nomntu ofileyo kunye namahlosi) uzuza ezimbini ezinkulu ngosuku kwiziqhamo zomsebenzi wakhe. Uqeshe i-BMW kwaye uphosa imali yakhe kwii-shit bar. Wafunda indlela yokuqhatha abathengi, ukuvuna iiCV’s ngokubhengeza imisebenzi yomgunyathi, ukukhohlisa abafaki-zicelo, ukwenza ngathi "umele" umntu ongazange uve ngaye kunye nendlela yokuvala ukugxekwa kwezenzo zakhe ezithandabuzekayo ngokuqinisekisa., akunakwenzeka, "akekho omnye umntu onengxaki wiv it".

Uye wafunda nendlela yokuqengqa enye yekhomishini yakhe ibe ityhubhu kunye nayo, impumlo inyuke iye empumlweni. Ngaloo ndlela uShithead onqatyisiweyo uhlala eqinisekile ukuba usisipho sikaThixo kwishishini le-IT. “I wuz doin’ you a favour” uxelela abantu abambambise ngobuqhophololo besebenzisa iiCV zabo., “and kiss my ess kuba awusoze uwufumane umsebenzi kule town wivvout my ‘elp”.

Kodwa iShithead ayingomntu okhohlakeleyo. Ufumana intywenka yemali ye-247SCRI kwaye i-Old Bastard igcinela yena uninzi lwayo.. Ubala into ekumele ukuba yenziwe ngulo mfo. “Kor!” UShithead uyacinga, “Ndingayenza loo nto. Kuya kubiza i-nufink ukuqalisa kwaye ukuba ndihamba ngokukhawuleza ngabo arseholes IT abaphulukeneyo. "

Kwiiyure ezimbalwa kamva i-Shithead ifake i-database, ubhalise inkampani yakhe entsha (“Shithead-E-Web-Interglobal-Talent-Solutions”) kwaye ndafumana abaqulunqi bewebhu abangaphesheya ukuba bamakhele iwebhusayithi. “Yenze ibonakale isemthethweni ngokwenene” uyabaxelela, ngoko bayizalisa ngeefoto zesitokhwe sesibhakabhaka sesixeko kunye nabantu abajongeka nzulu-kwindawo yokusebenzela.

Ngentsasa yangoMvulo uShithead usebenza ngendlela yakhe kuluhlu lwabaxumi ababiweyo. Uyayazi into ehlawuliswa yi-arhente yakhe yakudala ukuze kube lula ukubanciphisa. Ukwacela abaqeshi babo babefudula befake izicelo ukuba bakhangele imisebenzi anokuyithengisa, ukonakalisa imisebenzi embalwa kwinkqubo. “Ha” uyacinga, "Imisebenzi engakumbi ekufuneka ndiyigcwalise".

Kwiinyanga ezintandathu kamva ishishini liyakhula kwaye uShithead uziva enelunda ngaye. Utshintsha iBMW ngeAston Martin, ubhatala i-accountant ekhohlakeleyo ukuba ipheke iincwadi kwaye igcwalise iofisi eneenkonzo ngeentloko ezincinci ezizezakhe.. Bafunda kwi-pro kwaye eyona nto inomdla ngokukhawuleza babhabhe indlwane ukuya kwizinto zokuqala ezizezabo. Isigidi seearhente ezintsha ziyaqhakaza.

Kuba Uthando lukaThixo Luphelise Olu hlaselo

Umzi-mveliso wezobugcisa wase-UK urhubuluza kunye nezifunxi-gazi ezifana neShithead. Siyayixolela impatho yabo embi ngokucinga ukuba zizenzo ezigwenxa; ezo singazibambisanga ngobhongwana kufuneka zibe ncwina. Xa i-shitlist yam iphezulu kwi-domain ezilikhulu ndiye ndaqonda ukuqashwa kobuchwephesha lishishini elibole ngokupheleleyo. Sisaqhwithi esigqibeleleyo senkuthazo egqwethekileyo, Izithintelo eziphantsi zokungena kunye nolawulo oluncinci olunemali eyaneleyo etyhutyhayo ukutsala isibetho samadoda aphakathi anganyanisekanga..

Ndigqibile ngeearhente zokuqesha. 90% yomsebenzi wam (kwaye 100% yomsebenzi endiwuthandayo) liza ngomlomo kodwa phantse onke amandla am okufumana umsebenzi achithekile kwezi zinto. Ngaphandle kokuba ulambile (okanye ukonwabele ukuxokiswa nokuqhathwa) abalufanelanga ukuxhatshazwa okungapheliyo kwezixhobo.

Ii-imeyile zabo ezizaliswe bullshit ziya ngqo emgqomeni. Ezinye zi pro-thick, ngokuqinisekileyo ngobukrelekrele babo kangangokuba imiyalelo ayisebenzi.

Kubaqeshi - cela abasebenzi bakho ukuba bakuncede ufumane ukuqeshwa okutsha. Nikeza i-bounty - ngokwaneleyo ukufumana ingqalelo yabo, utsho umvuzo weveki ezimbini. Incinci kakhulu kunexabiso leShithead. Kwaye zonke iinkuthazo zabo zilungile: akukho mntu uya kuqesha isidenge ukuba kuya kufuneka asebenze ecaleni kwabo kwaye abasebenzi abatsha abanobudlelwane bentlalontle kwiqela lakho banokuthi bahlale. Uya kumangaliswa ukuba oku kunokusebenza kangakanani.

Kubasebenzi endisebenza nabo be-IT - musa ukuwela ingcamango yokuba abaqeshwa bayinto embi eyimfuneko. Vala ii-imeyile zabo. Vimba zabo iminxeba. Hlala unxibelelana noogxa bakho bakudala. Funda ukwenza inethiwekhi. Joyina amaqela, Uluhlu lokuposa lwebhodi kunye nentsimi yakho kwaye ukhumbule ukuthumela kuzo xa uzama ukuqesha. Ngalo lonke ixesha ugcwalisa umsebenzi ngenethiwekhi yakho yoluntu umqeshi uyalamba. Khumbula, Okukhona ufunxa imali eninzi kwi-ecosystem yokugaya abasebenzi iba mbalwa iShitheads enokuxhasa.

Ukuba kufuneka ujongane neearhente, buza yonke into abayithethayo. Nangona bebonakala bebahle khumbula ukuba abakhuthazwa ukuba benze ukunyaniseka. Ayingomhlobo wakho. Fumana izithembiso (kunye nenkcazo yomsebenzi) ngokubhaliweyo. Jonga ngokuthe ngqo kubathengi ukuba ngaba iarhente ibamele. Ngaphambi kokuba usayine nantoni na thelekisa amanqaku kunye nomxhasi ukuze ufumane ukuba yintoni ireyithi ye-arhente ngokwenene; bahlala bexoka kuni nobabini ukuze nikhuphe inxeba elikhulu. Xa ubamba umntu eziphatha ngobuqhophololo yipapashe ukuze abanye balumke. Finyelela kumxhasi (incam yepro: yiya ngqo kuHR) ukubaxelela ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni. Amathuba kukuba baya kumangaliswa yindlela abaye bamelwa ngayo. Cela ingcali ifunde isivumelwano sakho (uninzi lwabaqeshwa abanalwazi malunga nomthetho wekhontrakthi) kwaye ubuze lonke ixesha elinzima. Hamba xa besenza izizathu zokungaxoxisani. Ukuba ungunokontraka kwaye ngomzuzu wokugqibela bona funa ukubona isazisi sakho (incwadana yokundwendwela, impepha zokuqhuba) yala; abanalungelo kuyo.

Okona kubaluleke kakhulu - yiba nomqolo. Xa enye ingxowa yesleazebag izama ukufumana enye phezu kwakho musa ukuyivumela ukuba ityibilike. Ungavumeli igquba lamadoda aphakathi arhwaphilizayo ukuba akhule abe zizityebi ngokonakalisa ishishini lethu.

Musa ukondla inyama.

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